Comparison: The Invisible Poison

In the evenings I’ve found that my latest relaxation techniques consist of browsing Facebook, browsing recent homes for sale in my area, or checking out the newest Netflix episode in our series. If you are anything like me, you too have some sort of relaxation technique that has become unknowingly habitual. We are like robots, performing a thoughtless act simply become we have been “programmed” to do so. I’m with ya, I enjoy winding down too.

“Wow. She’s lost so much weight! She looks incredible!”
“Her eyebrows look great. Should I do that too?”
“It must be nice to be on vacation every 3 months!”
“Holy crap, their lakehouse is beautiful!”
“If I worked out religiously and refrained from all the treats I allow myself, I could look just like her!”
As mindless yet methodical as browsing through Facebook has become, so do the immediate thoughts about myself, what I have, how hard or challenging my life is and instantly I take out my measuring stick to compare.

I will be honest; these are thoughts I’ve had after browsing through Facebook. I’ve also had these, too.
“It must be so hard to start all over again in a new relationship.”
“I have challenges sometimes, but nothing like what they seem to deal with.”
“My heart breaks for what they are experiencing. God, thank you that my life is so blessed.”
“That would be so hard to do XYZ everyday. I’m so glad I don’t have to.”

And so, without even knowing it I have compared my life to others’ lives. I can be grateful for a really great family vacation...until I see someone else’s vacation which was bigger and better. I can really feel so thankful for a used car, but new to me, until I see someone else with a picture of their brand new (insert the car I want here). I can be so content with my house and the fact that it has enough room for my entire family, until I see someone post a photo of their land, all 5 acres! Well why can’t I have 5 acres? We can instantly compare without even realizing we are doing it. It can take a heart of Godliness in contentment (which we know is great gain) and make us fall into the sin of greed.
We can live in a place of relativity and false reality. For example, after speaking with someone from a 3rd world country, we may feel like a millionaire. (Middle class Americans actually live in the highest 2% of the worlds wealth).  But after speaking with a millionaire we may feel like someone in a 3rd world country. Comparison will poison us. It will poison our joy, our contentment, our thankfulness and our gratefulness. Comparison is a lie. What you see is not what you get. I was actually tempted to post this “3 pools, 4 lakes in 7 days,” with a picture of my family at all of the different places. Is this our normal life? No. Of course not. Would it be easy to portray that we often live a life of leisure at the pool and lake? Maybe this week it would have. But is that our everyday life? No. Would the post have been fun? Yes. I realize I have family members in several different countries and Facebook has been one way to keep us connected by celebrating the fun things we get to do and experiences we have. Could I have made others feel left out? Absolutely. Could I have made others feel jealous? Maybe. But we don’t think about this do we? We don’t think about how our posts can make others stumble. There are two sides of this coin. One is that we need to protect and guard our hearts from the poison of comparison. The other is that we need to ask ourselves what are we hoping to gain by posting things? Attention? Affirmation? Possibly. It is a different answer for everyone and in each different scenario. What are we hoping others can gain from what we post?
We may come from a neutral place in our hearts and in one second or less move to a place of sin. It’s amazing actually. How easy it is.
Keep clean my friends. Keep your hearts and minds clean, free from the trap of comparison. Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. If someone gets a beautiful car or a wonderful vacation, be happy for them. Be content in who God made you to be, yet never be satisfied with how much of him you have. Keep your pusuit Godliness and contentment in your Godliness and you will gain. When you are focusing on more of him and less of you, those material desires really diminish.